What is Love? You can find it at the Tomb of the Unknowns

Years ago I had the opportunity, no, the privilege of visiting Arlington National Cemetery in Washington D.C. Arlington sits on a bluff south of D.C. looking at the Potomac River. It is a beautiful and holy place. I was there on a Sunday and could not think of a better way to keep the Sabbath day holy. I was there for 5 hours.

Of the many monuments, memorials, and tributes one can find in Arlington, one thing stands out beyond all others: The Tomb of the Unknowns.

The Tomb of the Unknowns or Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, as it is often called, is a monument dedicated to American service members who have died without their remains being identified. These military service members paid the ultimate price for our country and we do not know who they are. The most sacred of thank yous to these unknown soldiers is a series of guards that watch over the tomb 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. When I was there years ago, I could not help but stand and raise my hand to my heart as I watched these guards pace back and forth ever vigilant of the tomb. I was mesmerized  as I witnessed the changing of the guard and the care those guards took to show the most respect I have ever seen anyone give anything.

Inscribed on the tomb is the following: "Here Rests in Honored Glory, an American Soldier Known But to God."

On this Memorial Day, my heart goes out to the men and women that have given everything to their country. My heart goes out to the families of those that have given everything. You are remembered. You are cherished treasures of this thankful country.

What is Love? You can find it at the Tomb of the Unknowns.

What is Love? It's walking a mile in a wheelchair's shoes

As some of you may know, I work at a university. Two weeks ago it was rainy and cold as I arrived to work that morning. As I began making my way from my car in the parking lot to the building where I work I noticed a student in a wheelchair having a difficult time making his way up the wet sidewalk to a building further up the gradual slope from the administrative building where I work.

My heart sank. I wanted to assist him. I wanted to ask if he needed help, but then I wondered if it was politically correct or even insulting to offer assistance. "A person in a wheelchair wants their independence as much as I do," I thought. I walked passed and left him to continue his struggle up the sidewalk by himself in the wind and rain.

Then I stopped dead in my tracks. "What would Jesus do?" I thought. Better yet, "What did Jesus do?!" As I considered the scriptures about our Savior and Redeemer I said to myself "to heck with political correctness or independence!"

"Hey sir! Could you use some help?" I shouted through the piercing rain.

His eyes filed with tears: "Yes, please help me." came the reply.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I ran over to help him. I grabbed the handles and introduced myself.

McCray was his name. He not only needed assistance but was actually going further than I had anticipated that morning. At the pace he was traveling in that cold, wet, blistery morning he would have been out their another 45 minutes. We got their in 5, together.

We had a cordial conversation and parted ways when we made it to the door.

That was a life changing moment for me. Not because I helped a fellow human being who happened to be in a wheelchair, but because I resolved that day to spend a week only walking where a wheelchair rolls. For a week I attempted to access pathways, sidewalks, buildings, and stories of buildings the way a wheelchair would access them. That week was life changing.

Here is what I learned:
1. To a wheelchair, a mole hill is a mountain
2. To a wheelchair, the bottom of a flight of stairs looks like Mount Everest
3. To a wheelchair, the top of a flight of stairs looks like the Grand Canyon
4. To a wheelchair, walking from point A to point B is more of a maze than a walk
5. To a wheelchair, stepping on a crack won't break your mother's back, but could knock you over
6. To a wheelchair, an elevator is a needle in a haystack
7. To a wheelchair, the wheelchair accessible automatic doors are often broken because of lazy walkers using them too often
8. To a wheelchair, getting somewhere on time takes a lot of planning
9. To a wheelchair, people aren't as considerate as they should be when they see blue disabled stickers
10. For a week I was utterly frustrated at attempting to walk a mile in a wheelchair's shoes.

If you want to appreciate a different perspective, try walking only where a wheelchair walks. You'll never be the same.

Thank you McCray for a life altering experience.

What is Love? It's walking a mile in a wheelchair's shoes.

What is Love? It's the root of the word 'mother'

Years ago I was signing a birthday card for a woman in my life. As I contemplated how to personalize the card I thought of this woman's role as a mother and then in the card I simply wrote:

"You put the 'other' in mother! Happy Birthday!"

While many will agree that not a lot of wisdom or profoundness comes out of my head, what I wrote in that birthday card that day would influence the rest of my life. 

With rare exception, mothers devote their lives to others. the attached link to a video is a good example of what mothers do: http://motherhood.mormon.org/  If we were to take a few moments to consider the amount of time a mother spends helping, nurturing, caring for, cleaning after, shaping, devoting, teaching, consoling, calming, encouraging, reassuring, cheering for, admonishing, praying-hoping-desiring for, loving, coaching, crying with, celebrating, etc., etc., etc., we would not hesitate in being awe inspired at the depth of sacrifice and love a mother gives. 

Truly, the root of the word mother is other.

Happy Mother's Day. Thank God for sending mothers to the world.

What is Love? It is the root of the word 'mother.'

What is Love? It's accepting a globe for a gift

In case any of you have forgotten, are not prepared, or just need a reminder a week out, next Sunday is Mother's day. As I have been contemplating the mothers in our lives, I can't help but think of the great example of my wife. She has been instrumental in so many ways in the lives of our children and in my life as well.

Let me share with you one example of her love, devotion, and quite frankly, her patience.

Years ago, Megan and I spent our first Christmas together. We had been dating for several months and Christmas rolled around with little warning. I wasn't prepared for the celebration and festivities. I was downright insensitive when it came to finding a loving and affection gift for my fiancee.

As I frantically looked through the isles at a local department store, at the end of one isle I saw it! The perfect gift. It would be years later before I came to the realization that some people might not care for the things that tickle my fancy. A globe, I thought, was a universally acceptable, and useful gift for any person. What's more, it lit up when you touched it and offered three different levels of light. It was a 3-level-light globe touch lamp and it was perfect!

Christmas came and in the midst of the present unwrapping frenzy, my future bride-to-be opened my gift. It may have been the biggest test of our young relationship. My fiancee looked at the globe, looked at me, looked back at the globe and said "thank you."

I took it out of the box, poured over it, and even mused at the fact that you could see where we lived better when you plugged it in and touched the lamp.

Every marriage develops inside jokes. These jokes often originate from funny, challenging, and often awkward moments in a marriage. We have been married for 12+ years. Whenever we get something we may not like we ask the other "was this a globe gift?"

We still have the globe... it's on my night stand on my side of the bed. (Sigh) Thank you for your patience Megan.

What is Love? It's accepting a globe for a gift.

What is Love? It's stabbing yourself with a fish hook

So, I didn't have my best day at work today. Wasn't my worst, but wasn't my best. I got home late on top of the not so great day to find that two kids were fighting, one kid was sick and another had been hiding his unfinished homework under his bed... AGAIN! Let's see, that only accounts for four of the five kids. Who knows what the other one was doing.

In any event, tonight was cub scouts. Our cub scout was grounded, but since we made him miss cub scouts a few weeks ago for being grounded Megan and I decided we better let him go.

Tonight was a fishing excursion to a local pond. I was to go with him. I was already annoyed at the day and evening events and getting his fishing rod out of the catacombs of the garage was no simple task. Yes, the barb on the hook does hurt as bad as it looks when inadvertently stabbed into your finger. I was tired, cranky, annoyed and now in pain.

I took my son fishing, and although the cub scout leaders did all the work and taught him all the fishing skills, it was great to be there with my son at the local pond.

Will tomorrow be a better day? Who knows. But I will always have the memory of fishing with my son and a throbbing finger.

Thanks cub scout leaders for ending my day on a good note.

What is Love? It's stabbing yourself with a fish hook.

What is Love? It's watching a sunrise in 40 degree weather

We have a number of family traditions for Easter weekend. Many of these traditions we share with our local community and with Christians around the world.

Some of those traditions include the city-sponsored Easter egg hunt that is scheduled for an hour but really lasts about 3 minutes. Those traditions include hunting around the house for Easter baskets in the most unsuspecting of places, coloring Easter eggs, and those traditions include Sunday ham dinners.

Those traditions include new Sunday dresses for girls and new vests and ties for boys to go to church with millions of other Christians around the world. As a family we also do our best to help our children understand the significance of the Easter holiday and pay our respects to Jesus the Christ.

What may be unique to our family, however, is our own tradition of watching the sunrise on Easter morning. True, in April in Rexburg, Idaho the sun rises at about 6:37am in 40 degree weather. It also generally includes a fair amount of wind and the occasional request from a child to go back inside.

Why, you may ask, do we have this tradition? Well, for the baby who only wore a star for a crown at his birth and had nothing more than a sunrise for a trumpet at his glorious resurrection, watching the sun-rise each Easter holiday is a reminder to our family of that day 2,000 years ago when the Son of Man rose from the grave and saved us all. It is a tribute of sorts, a prayer of thanksgiving for the King Emmanuel.

Happy Easter to all!

Had there been no resurrection (Easter), there likely would have been no mention of his birth (Christmas).

What is Love? It's watching a sunrise in 40 degree weather.

What is Love? It's a mom who works while a dad goes on vacation

We have been home a few weeks now from our wonderful Disneyland family vacation. It was a great experience marked with fun on rides, smiles at the attractions, pictures with Disneyland characters, seeing Tinkerbell fly, and the magic of Disney.

Even the 14-hour drive to and from southern California was great!

Our children still talk about the good times (and still wear their Disney hats to school). It couldn't have been a better experience. Well, I could have gone without my phone being broken in the Winnie the Pooh ride line, but no matter, it's only a phone.

Here's the deal though. It wasn't until we got home before I realized one very important aspect of the trip, and here is where the love comes in to the post.

Megan has always known that I have pixie dust in my blood. I was affected by the magic of Disney at a very young age and it has stayed with me my whole life. I have always wanted to be a "Dad at Disney" and Megan gave me my chance. What is remarkable though is the sacrifices Megan made to make the magic happen. My last post gave credence to her budgeting prowess, but the greater love Megan showed us was by agreeing to go on this trip at all.

Four of our five children are now in some form of school and moms' already have a hard enough time dealing with kids half the day let alone all day in a car, or a hotel, or stressing about kids by the pool, or a busy theme park with cranky tired kids where all we eat for two weeks is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Looking at it from one point of view, it would be easy to see how this trip was more work than a vacation for Mom. Sure, Dad gets to take 2 weeks off of work (and his Master's degree program) to get away with the family he rarely sees. Mom just gets more of the same! Looking at it from one point of view, it would be easy to see how Mom might rather want go on an all expenses paid cruise by herself where she can sit on the deck and read, or go in the adults only pool, or eat for two hours at a buffet, or sleep in, or go to a late night cruise show. Disney with Dad and the kids might pail in comparison to that cruise ship scenario.

In the end, I know Megan had fun, I even think she came away glowing of pixie dust a little. But I am grateful that she would make the sacrifice to take us all to Disneyland when there may be 10 or more places she would rather go. I won't risk asking her if that is true, but instead just thank her for the "vacation."

What is Love? It's a mom who works while a dad goes on vacation.