What is Love? It's a plastic fork and some humble pie

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary! I am excited to share the day with my wonderful bride. Megan has been great for me in so many ways not the least of which is reminding me that I am not perfect... yet.

Several posts ago I mentioned that my dad shared two pieces of poignant advice for me in my courtship with Megan prior to us getting married. The first, as discussed in that post, had to do with toothbrushes and toothpaste. It was a direct appeal to pay attention to the little things.

The second piece of advice I reveal at this time with much trepidation. Why not on the eve of our special day.

So I am not perfect right?! I know it is hard to believe but it is the truth. So let me describe for you the process by which I ate my first piece of humble pie with a plastic fork. I had never eaten humble pie before and for those of you who have not had the privilege... it is an acquired taste.

While dating, Megan and I had our first official spat. I do remember the details, but I will spare you. In any event, I went to my dad for advice and consolation as I knew I was right and needed help on getting Megan to understand that she was wrong. I remember it like it was yesterday. Dad and I were in the kitchen, I on the bar stool and Dad leaning over the kitchen island counter listening intently. After I had made the best case any lawyer as ever made before the U.S. Supreme Court my Dad went to the kitchen drawer, pulled out a plastic fork and without saying a word handed it to me.

"A plastic fork?"

"Looks like you need to eat some humble pie."

That was it.

I learned that day perhaps the wisest council a father has ever given to his son. That day was the first day of many days where I learned that I have not yet arrived and haven't yet been able to throw away that plastic fork.

Megan, here's to 12 years and 12 more. Thank you for your patience.

What is Love? It's a plastic fork and some humble pie.

What is Love? It's a suit and shoes you probably didn't want to buy

16 years ago I left on a 2-year full-time mission for my church. Occasionally I reflect on the multitude of experiences I had during that time. The opportunity to serve mankind in a variety of ways during my mission has significantly contributed to the man I am today.

The feelings of love, gratitude, and compassion that one gains from serving others is remarkable. The scriptures teach that when we are in the service of our fellow men and women, we are in the service of our God.

But my 2-year service is not what this blog post is about. This post is about two people who purchased a new gray suit and a pair of dress shoes for a cause they neither fully understood nor completely agreed with. You see, I am a convert to the LDS church (www.lds.org) and less than a year after my conversion I was off to a Mormon college and shortly after that I was off to Mexico for two years of service. As part of that missionary service missionaries are required to purchase suits, slacks, white shirts, ties, and sturdy dress shoes to walk hundreds of miles over the course of 2 years.

I was naive. I didn't fully comprehend what was asked of me nor what was asked of my family to fully embrace the mission. I was a member for a short year. My family were not members at all.

And yet, in spite of religious and philosophical difference my father and step-mother made the conscious decision to fund my mission clothing. $700.00+ when all said and done as I recall. I thought I had love to serve in a foreign land. What I have learned recently is that my dad and step-mom had love to give me a suit and shoes for a cause that wasn't their own.

Thanks Dad and Sharon (he says 16 years later).

What is Love? It's a suit and shoes you probably didn't want to buy.

What is Love? It's a bouquet of flowers from McDonalds

In the spirit of Valentine's Day I thought I would remind any men out there that Valentine's Day is this week. Don't screw it up.

Here's how you do it right. Get your significant other a bouquet of flowers. That's right. Every women wants flowers. I learned that early in my courtship with Megan.

Here is the catch, although every women loves flowers, it may take more than the few short days you have before Valentine's Day this week to figure out which kind of flowers she likes.

If you aren't sure what she likes you can get your wife, girlfriend, or friend the kind of flowers that my wife likes. McDonalds French Fries! In the interest of time to let you get out there and find what she wants I won't go into the details on how I figured out that she likes a bouquet from McDonalds rather than the more traditional array of flowers from your local supermarket. I will tell you, however, that once I figured it out, our life has been bliss.

Find what your significant other likes, not what the marketers or holiday traditionalists tells you she should like. For months in our courtship I thought bouquet after bouquet would win her heart, but I found that I wasn't getting anywhere with that. Once I found "her" bouquet it sealed the deal. Take the time to get to know her and her interests and you will be sure to find her "bouquet" and win her heart.

If in doubt, get her a bouquet from a fast food joint. You certainly can't go wrong with America's favorite fries.

What is Love? It's a bouquet of flowers from McDonalds.

What is Love? It's standing in front of tanks and making "disgusting" food

June 4, 1989 Tienanmen Square Beijing, China. College students in China protested the current form of Chinese rule that ultimately ended in China declaring martial law and forcibly suppressing the protests inflicting casualties on unarmed civilians.

What is perhaps most notable from this event in history is depicted in this picture. Commonly referred to as the "Tank Man," the world watched as one man bravely chose to stand in front of a long line of Chinese military tanks after these tanks had effectively squelched the protests from the previous day. As shown in the picture taken from a video of a foreign journalist who risked his live to smuggle the film out of the country, one man - the tank man - took on the might of the Chinese communist military. What is most remarkable about this man and experience is that the colonnade of tanks stopped. This man, for a few short moments brought the Chinese military to its knees.

I do not share the experience of the Tank Man to disparage the country of China in any way. I share it to illustrate one example among millions of examples around the world and throughout time of standing up for what you believe in, doing what is good and wholesome in the face of opposition.

While not an example of standing in front of tanks I do have another example of standing up for what one believes in. After my post from last Sunday I sat pondering other examples of love in my life. Immediately my thoughts turned to my loving wife and the dinner she had just made. She made one of my favorite slow cooker dinners in spite of the opposition from our children. Their opposition could only be described as a Chinese tank brigade that night! I enjoyed the dinner. My kids did not. The evening didn't end very well with me sending most of the kids to bed early as I recall.

But what I sat musing over was that in spite of this trivial opposition to dinner my wife showed me love by making something I enjoyed. What's more, I thought of hundreds of examples where my wife works tirelessly to do what is right for our family in spite of all the messages in our world telling her to do otherwise. It was simply dinner, but for the rest of the week I considered example after example of where my wife does her very best to do what is right. She teaches our kids to pray, she balances a budget, she serves our neighbors, and gives to the less fortunate.

And although a journalist has not captured her contribution and smuggled the video out of country for all the world to see, she gets a thank you online from one insignificant blogger and will get tons of "thank you's" from 5 rambunctious kids in about 15 years when they are old enough to see that what was "disgusting" food as a child was actually the greatest feast of love they have ever seen.

Thank you for your perseverance in standing up to the tanks in the world Megan. It isn't easy being a wife and mom, but it doesn't go unnoticed.

What is Love? It's standing in front of tanks and making "disgusting" food. :-)