What is Love? It's going where no one else is willing to go

I love this photo of a mountain goat literally in a cliff. How could he have gotten there in the first place? Absolutely amazing. And what did he go to that spot for? Was it for a trickle of water or the best salt rock on the hillside? Was it a dare by his mountain goat buddies? Was it to impress the she-goats in the area?

Regardless of this mountain goat's motive, one thing is for sure, he likely went where no one else was willing to go.

Marriage is a lot like this experienced mountain goat in a cliff. All around we see society balking at the need or even a desire to enter into a monogamous relationship that leads to marriage and unselfish devotion to another human being. More and more people are less and less inclined to enter into a marital relationship and stick to it for a lifetime.


Here's where we get back to the photo. This mountain goat committed himself to go where no one else was willing to go. Marriage is the same. It takes guts and hard work to make and keep your commitment to your spouse. It also takes a willingness and commitment to do things for your spouse that you would otherwise choose not to do. Can I give an example? Sure.

Years ago my wife and I "decided" that I would be the bathroom cleaner. Each week my job is to get down on my hands and knees and clean the... well... you know. I have tried to do it every week for 12 years. I must admit I have missed a few weeks during those 12 years, but not many. I thought since we now have five kids I would be able to initiate executive privilege and delegate the chore to some unsuspecting kid. However, all those years of experience has made me a master toilet cleaner! The chore chart list moves every week but my name always stays on the bathroom. Guess what... I don't mind one bit. I am the mountain goat in the cliff going where no one else is willing to go. And guess what Gents, it makes my wife happy!

In marriage we need to find those things our spouse doesn't enjoy doing, the things that need to get done, but that they loathe in doing. We need to identify those things and take control. For my wife, getting the toilet cleaned each week by her husband does it for her. For other couples, its something else. The point is we need to take the time to figure it out and then do it. Happiness in married life is often predicated on those small and simple things. A toilet is easy relatively speaking and it pays huge dividends.

If you don't know what that one thing is, start with the toilet each week and go from there.

What is Love? It's going where no one else is willing to go.

What is Love? Pea-sized toothpaste on my toothbrush

Mark Twain once wrote: "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

I believe these are my sentiments exactly. It is only as I get older that I realize the wisdom of parents and grandparents. I have learned much over the last 12 years of marriage from role-models and mentors. My dad is one of those.


Early in my courtship with my soon-to-be wife, my Dad gave me two pieces of great advice for marriage. You get to read one of them in this post.

"Jerrod," he said, "put toothpaste on her toothbrush."

"Huh?"

What I thought was ignorance back then has turned out to be a great amount of wisdom. I have learned that it is the little things in a marriage that matter most. Wiping the counter clean with a wet rag (rather than a quick sweep of the hand), leaving a note in an obscure place she'll find a week from when you left it, noticing when she has done her hair differently, a cleaned bathroom before company comes over.

These are the things that pay big dividends in the love and appreciation department.

So... toothpaste.

I have to admit, my wife is better at this little love memento than I am. Each night as things are winding down and I start my "bathroom routine" I find toothpaste on my toothbrush and I smile. This gesture as come to mean a great deal between us. In fact, I dare say that Megan and I can gauge the stability of our relationship by the toothpaste test.

My dad's simple words of wisdom have come to mean a great deal between us. For example, if I come to bed and their is a pea-sized amount of toothpaste on my toothbrush I know that life is bliss and my wife is incandescently in love with me. I generally return the favor being the hopeless romantic that I am. If, however, I come to bed and find that their is an exorbitant amount of toothpaste on my toothbrush then I know that something has gone awry and my wife is expressing annoyance at something I have done wrong (this massive amount of toothpaste says a lot and is almost always justified.) This amount of toothpaste (that I have been known to reciprocate) reminds me that I have not yet arrived and still have work to do in my marriage relationship. It usually works itself out through good communication about the issues of the day.

Too much toothpaste; however, is a welcomed blessing when faced with the rare but tragic reality of a naked toothbrush. Yes, a toothbrush void of any minty goodness. Occasionally, I will come to bed after a particularly trying day on the marriage front to find that no toothpaste has been added at all. This says all too much about just how wrong I was that day. In these cases, I know a sincere apology is in order, good communication, change, and a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs.

Gentlemen, some of you are relegated to sleeping on the couch; I go without toothpaste on my toothbrush.

So I go back to the simple things in marriage. Paying attention to sweet nothings and avoiding little annoyances makes for a happy life, a happy wife, and a mouth with just the right amount of freshness.

Thanks for the advice Dad.

What is Love? Pea-sized toothpaste on my toothbrush.

What is Love? Dangling devotion or just changing diapers

I saw this picture years ago. I downloaded it then and have kept it ever since. I must say at the onset that I am sure it belongs to someone. Sorry for stealing it and posting it again for the world to see... again. Thanks to the photographer that chose to share it in the first place. I give you all the credit. I just wish I knew your name. What a once in a lifetime picture.

Two things fascinate me about this picture.

1) All of the planets must have been in alignment to capture such an amazing event (except for Pluto since it isn't a planet anymore... bummer deal).

2) One can find a lot of symbolism about love from gazing at this picture.

That is what I want to write about: Love.

There is much love in the world, you can see it all around. This photo illustrates it so beautifully. For some time I have felt that I needed to contribute to what is known as the Web 2.0. When the Internet first came to be it was one-directional. We went out there, found what we were looking for (and a lot of things we weren't looking for), downloaded some content and that was that.

Years ago the Internet started to change and became multi-directional where we could not only find and download but also contribute online. Ever since I have been wanting to contribute.

The world is full of love and this is my attempt to expose it.

Back to the photo. To what length will we go to share our love with others? I wish I could say I have risked life and limb dangling from the grasp of an old college roommate to demonstrate my love and devotion to my significant other in the form of a simple picked flower. I haven't done that... yet.

What I have done; however, is spent the last 10 years changing every dirty diaper I could get my hands on for my wife.

Megan and I are in our mid-thirties and the proud parents of 5 kids! At some point early in our marriage a thought was introduced to me that when we started having kids I should change every diaper so long as I was there when the dirty thing was discovered. I wish I could remember the moment I had that epiphany or who shared the idea with me but I don't. What I can say is that although I have not done something quite as spectacular as what you see in nature from this photo, I have changed 3,789 diapers from my estimates. I haven't dangled to show my devotion and love but I have never let my wife change a diaper so long as I was there.

My wife has expressed her appreciation for my efforts and it makes me feel good to try. Nothing says adoration like trying to change ever dirty diaper. I love my wife and it's the least I can do.

What is love? A dad changing diapers.