What is Love? Pea-sized toothpaste on my toothbrush

Mark Twain once wrote: "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."

I believe these are my sentiments exactly. It is only as I get older that I realize the wisdom of parents and grandparents. I have learned much over the last 12 years of marriage from role-models and mentors. My dad is one of those.


Early in my courtship with my soon-to-be wife, my Dad gave me two pieces of great advice for marriage. You get to read one of them in this post.

"Jerrod," he said, "put toothpaste on her toothbrush."

"Huh?"

What I thought was ignorance back then has turned out to be a great amount of wisdom. I have learned that it is the little things in a marriage that matter most. Wiping the counter clean with a wet rag (rather than a quick sweep of the hand), leaving a note in an obscure place she'll find a week from when you left it, noticing when she has done her hair differently, a cleaned bathroom before company comes over.

These are the things that pay big dividends in the love and appreciation department.

So... toothpaste.

I have to admit, my wife is better at this little love memento than I am. Each night as things are winding down and I start my "bathroom routine" I find toothpaste on my toothbrush and I smile. This gesture as come to mean a great deal between us. In fact, I dare say that Megan and I can gauge the stability of our relationship by the toothpaste test.

My dad's simple words of wisdom have come to mean a great deal between us. For example, if I come to bed and their is a pea-sized amount of toothpaste on my toothbrush I know that life is bliss and my wife is incandescently in love with me. I generally return the favor being the hopeless romantic that I am. If, however, I come to bed and find that their is an exorbitant amount of toothpaste on my toothbrush then I know that something has gone awry and my wife is expressing annoyance at something I have done wrong (this massive amount of toothpaste says a lot and is almost always justified.) This amount of toothpaste (that I have been known to reciprocate) reminds me that I have not yet arrived and still have work to do in my marriage relationship. It usually works itself out through good communication about the issues of the day.

Too much toothpaste; however, is a welcomed blessing when faced with the rare but tragic reality of a naked toothbrush. Yes, a toothbrush void of any minty goodness. Occasionally, I will come to bed after a particularly trying day on the marriage front to find that no toothpaste has been added at all. This says all too much about just how wrong I was that day. In these cases, I know a sincere apology is in order, good communication, change, and a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs.

Gentlemen, some of you are relegated to sleeping on the couch; I go without toothpaste on my toothbrush.

So I go back to the simple things in marriage. Paying attention to sweet nothings and avoiding little annoyances makes for a happy life, a happy wife, and a mouth with just the right amount of freshness.

Thanks for the advice Dad.

What is Love? Pea-sized toothpaste on my toothbrush.